I've told this story a couple of times in the past week and many times since I first encountered the phrase 'sharing is caring' on a preschool playground in 2016. At the time I wrote a blog post titled 'Understanding the Law: Sharing is Caring'. It was a satirical legal commentary that attempted to unpack the problems with practical application of the 'sharing is caring' principle. I've included the original post at the end of this one. In the meantime here is the story I wrote in response to the problem. I also feel it holds particular relevance given that next month I'm heading up to Arnhem Land to volunteer in the remote community of Gapuwiyak. I hope to learn from local art makers and educators up there and contribute to the community by supporting arts education. I'm sure I'll learn a lot more about sharing and exchange over the next 6 months.
One day Spider was wandering the bush in search of a web. He was searching because he didn’t have a web of his own. Suddenly he came across a beautiful web between two trees. He crawled up and found that another spider called Leaf Curler was already there. “Excuse me,” he said, “Can I have this web?” Leaf Curler looked confused.
“This is my web,” it said.
Spider responded, “Yeah, but... sharing is caring.”
Leaf Curler was stunned. Sharing was caring. So it gave up its web and moved on.
Spider was happy in his new web. But after a while he became hungry. He didn’t have any food so he went out in search of something to eat. Nearby he found another web with a juicy fly stuck inside. He crawled up and reach for the fly but was stopped suddenly by the web’s owner, a spider called Jumper.
“Hey!” shouted Jumper, “That’s my food!”
“But I’m hungry,” pleaded Spider.
Jumper looked confused, “Well you can’t have my food,” it said.
“But,” said Spider, “Sharing is caring!”
Jumper was stunned. Sharing was caring. So it gave up its fly and moved on.
Spider took the fly to the web he had taken from Leaf Curler. He rested happily and ate his fill. After a while Spider became lonely. He didn’t have anyone to play with so he went out in search of some friends. Nearby he spotted Leaf Curler. He went over and asked, “Hey, want to play with me?”
“No way!” shouted Leaf Curler, “Not after you took my web!”
Disappointed, Spider moved on. He came across Jumper. “Hey Jumper,” he said, “Want to play with me?”
“No way!” shouted Jumper, “Not after you took my food!”
Spider was hurt by this. He was lonely and wanted to play but no one would play with him. Had he done something wrong? Sharing was caring after all. Spider needed some guidance. He decided to visit someone older to ask for help. Because sometimes older people know things we need to know. The oldest spider in the bush was Golden Orb Weaver. Spider told the Orb Weaver about his problem, how he was lonely but no one would play with him. The Orb Weaver listened carefully.
“Spider,” she said eventually, “You did not have a web of your own, so you took one, because sharing is caring. You did not have food of your own, so you took some, because sharing is caring. Now because you have taken these things you are no longer welcome. What you must learn is this. Sharing is caring, but, sharing is giving, not taking.”
Spider was stunned.
He thanked the Orb Weaver and left.
In a nearby tree Spider began to build his own web. It wasn’t easy. It required some skills he didn’t have and he needed some help to learn these skills. But eventually he was able to build a web. Then he waited for some food. It wasn’t easy. It required patience and he wasn’t so patient but eventually he learned and caught some food. Now with a web of his own and food to eat he saw a little spider wandering nearby, hungry and lonely. “Hey,” called Spider, “Would you like to share this food with me?”
The little spider was surprised but gratefully accepted the offer. After sharing the web and eating his fill the little spider asked, “Why did you share this web and your food with me?”
“Well,” replied Spider, “Because sharing is caring. But sharing is giving, not taking."
This is the original post from 2016
Understanding The Law: Sharing is Caring
Adam and Jaimee were playing one day in the school playground. Adam was on the swing. Jaimee wanted to go on the swing but there was only one. So she asked Adam, "Can I go on the swing?"
Adam replied, "No."
Jaimee really wanted to go on the swing so she sought the assistance of Ms Simons, the teacher on duty. "Ms Simons, Adam won't let me go on the swing," she said.
"Did you ask nicely?" replied Ms Simons.
"I did," said Jaimee. And so it was.
"Okay, let's go and see what's going on."
And with that Jaimee led Ms Simons to the swing.
"Adam, do you think you might give Jaimee a turn on the swing?" said Ms Simons.
"But I want to go on the swing too," replied Adam.
"But Adam, its important to let others have a turn with the equipment in the playground. Sharing is caring, remember?"
Reluctantly, and after a little more coaxing, Adam agreed to let Jaimee have the swing and he went off to find something else to play. The next day in the playground, Jaimee was on the swing. Adam really wanted to go on the swing, so he went up to Jaimee and said, "Jaimee, can I go on the swing?"
"No." said Jaimee.
"But sharing is caring!" Adam decried.
Alas, Jaimee could not be persuaded. So Adam sought the help of Mr Bell, the teacher on duty that day. "Mr Bell," he said, "Jaimee won't share the swing!"
"Did you ask he nicely?" asked Mr Bell.
"Yes, I did,"
"Well let's go and see what's going on, shall we?"
They walked over to the swing.
"Jaimee, do you think you might like to share the swing with Adam?" said Mr Bell
"But I'm not finished swinging," said Jaimee.
Adam cried, "Sharing is caring, Jaimee!"
"That's true," said Mr Bell, "Sharing is caring, Jaimee, and its important to care for our friends here at school. How about you let Adam have a turn on the swing?"
Reluctantly, and after a little coaxing, Jaimee agreed to share the swing with Adam. A few days later, in the classroom, Adam noticed one of the other children drawing with a most wonderful pen. It was adorned with feathers and from its end the ink ran all the colours of the rainbow. Adam liked drawing, and rainbows, so he decided to have a turn with the pen. He went up to the child who was using it as said, "Can I use that pen?"
"No, its mine from home," said the child.
"But sharing is caring," responded Adam.
And so it went. Adam noticed things he liked and wanted and went about acquiring them by way of the Law, Sharing is Caring. For Adam, this Law meant he was able to get what he wanted from others, for they were obliged to care for his wants and desires. For Adam, sharing meant taking from others what he wanted.
Intuitively this represents a fundamental misunderstanding of the principle of Sharing is Caring. Yet the intentions of the teachers in attempting to apply the Law were sound. So what went wrong? How did sharing come to mean taking?
One way to better understand how it happened is to consider on whom falls the burden of proof. In the case of Adam and Jaimee, it was for the one without the swing to prove that the one with the swing was not sharing. Thus sharing becomes a course of action available only to the one without. However, it is the one with who is ultimately the sharer, the person responsible for performing the act of sharing. So there exists a fundamental separation between the desire for action and the will to act. The former is linked to wanting what the other has, and the latter is imposed on the one who has it rather than arising from his or her own volition.
The solution is simple. It requires a shift in perspective and a corresponding amendment to the Law. The phrase 'Sharing is Caring' fails to capture the essence of what is involved in both sharing and caring. In practice this Law defines sharing as taking and caring as acquiescence. But what if the terms were redefined?
Consider the following: Sharing is GIVING not TAKING.
Teaching Sharing is Giving not Taking (Creative Arts Workshop)
In groups of 7 children,
Each child is given a paintbrush or crayon of a different colour (one of seven colours),
Each child is also given a blank piece of black or white card.
Seated in a circle the children are told the following story:
A long time ago there were no colours. Everything was black or white. It was peaceful but also a little boring. One day a group of children were sitting in a circle and their teacher gave them each their own special colour. The child with yellow was only only one who could give yellow to the black and white worlds. The child with blue was the only one who could give blue to the black and white worlds. At first the children began making colour marks in their own worlds with their own colours.
Allow some time for the children to draw with their own colours on their own pieces of card. After a while return to the circle and continue the story.
Now there was some colour in the worlds of the children. But each child only had one colour. The child with yellow noticed that the child with blue might want some yellow in her world, so she went over and offered him some yellow for his world.
Get the corresponding children to act out this part of the story, using the words, 'would you like some ______ in your world?'.
The child with red noticed that the child with green might want some red in her world...
Again, have the children act out this part of the story. Then allow some time for the children to go around offering their colour to others. And so on.
At the end of the activity collect all of the worlds and display them on one board. Return to it from time to time to retell the story of the children who gave colour to the world.